A trend from wiser years past and to stay for years to come, shithammed members of the bar culture soliciting passive aggressive mantras on bathroom stall walls and doors…hoping that their ideals towards society will truly be followed as if they’re the next Buddha, Gandhi, or Mother Teresa, but really we all know…they’re just next in line to becoming America’s Next Top Dick-Wad.
Some of these dick-wads choose to leave endearing cliché messages such as, “Call so-and-so for a good time, 800-555-555 ;-)”…for shits and giggles while you’re relieving yourself from the pints of booze you decide to guzzle, try calling this “so-and-so.” I dare you. They tend to be people named Tyrone not so much interested in giving you a good time but rather finding where you live and murdering all of your loved ones because they believe you’re an ex-customer with a price on your head for a debt you’ve owed to them for an extensive period of time. You then must make it a priority the next day to stop at your local cell phone service provider and block their number. Glad to know some sadistic dick-wad thought that constituted a good time...ingenious, really.
Other statements are clearly left by Veteran Affairs members of the bar culture community…providing words of wisdom to young early inductees of how they should behave in order to truly succeed and make a name for themselves in the abysmal world of has-beens. Refer to Exhibit C provided below:
Is that a poor excuse for a penis in the lower left-hand corner? These words were clearly left by a female Vet that’s had her fair share of dives, drinks, and dudes. She’s been around the block several dozen times and now hopes to live vicariously through the innocent lives of the not yet morally corrupt younger bar culture generation.
On the contrary, these members of the younger bar culture generation are not ones to be reckoned with. I heard they give hand jobs in 5th grade classrooms these days, so these kids are wise beyond their years and not easily bullied or pressured into the bar culture enlightenment. Exhibit D for example:
Re: Exhibit C – located directly above on the same door of the same stall in the same bathroom of the same bar.
The conclusion to all of this folks is simple. Being a smutfaced hooker that gets to eat pasta > having class, acting like a lady, and getting treated like one. Write that on a fuckin’ wall…just don’t forget to call smutfaced hooker for a good time and by smutfaced hooker I mean me.
Be Good,
TBR
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